Tuesday, 6 November 2007

I feel so saintly!!!

My house is super clean and tidy, the wash basket is empty, the washing line is full, the veggies for tea have been prepared, there is a joint ready to go in the oven and I have baked rock buns for Rob.
As soon as I open the front door the autumn will come in so the floors will no longer be sparkling and clean. As soon as child number one comes home, the wash basket will have a dirty uniform thrown into it, once the washing line has been emptied the ironing basket will be full, once the dinner has been cooked the pots will need to be done, once Rob has eaten a rock bun, there will be crumbs in places where crumbs shouldn't be!!! But for this short moment in time I am basking in the glory of being a domestic goddess!

I also managed to do a quick LO whilst Harry and Reuben were asleep. Now this is unheard of for me... I normally faff for hours and it takes an age for a LO to be completed. So today I decided to do a Jen, and get a LO done in super quick time... must say I am quite liking the end result too. Now if only this speed scrapping could be done all the time!


I haven't done this since last week, and have missed the daily prompts. Yesterday Kirsty started the new theme of emotions... easy right? well not so when you add to the equation that you can't take a photo of facial expressions! Yesterday's prompt was sad, quite appropriate really as this is how I have been feeling the past few days. I have decided to combine the prompt with today's 'excited'.

I am having a bit of a personal trauma at the moment regarding work and children. I am so lucky to have been blessed with my boys, both of which were the result of taking the drug clomid. I am also really lucky that I am a sahm so get to be with Harry all day, and take and fetch Oliver to and from school. I am at the stage now where I am thinking that I would like another child... just one more, but then I think that maybe I should just be grateful for what I have. With two children we can afford for me to stay at home until Harry goes to school full time, but if I had a third then I would have to go back to work. Part time Art teacher jobs just do not come up, so going back to work would mean full time, which I know would make me sad as I would be missing so much of the children.
So I have been prescribed clomid. And this little box of tablets has been sitting in the kitchen all weekend. There is one part of me saying take them... you know you want to. Then there is the other part of me saying that I shouldn't take them.
I am so sad, confused, excited, happy, scared and unsure... I really do not know what I am going to do!!!


Rosie (Freycob) said...

What a dilemma you have on your hands! Only you and your DH can make that decision and I wish you all the best for the difficult time ahead x

Love your blog btw!

Polly said...

awww! I know that feeling so well. The overwhelming urge to have another one to wub... then the financial implications if you did.


Jemma said...

hugs xxxxx

Anonymous said...

Awwww Louise what a decision!! Whatever you do I'm sure it will be right for you though...sending you hugs...hope they help.

Love your layout... and how good are you fitting it in after all that tidying too :D

Caz said...

Now that is a dilemma, but whatever the outcome it has to be right for you.
The LO is fab, and I am sooo jealous of your tidy house...domestic godess I am not.

Jenga said...

Hmmm going through the same thing here at the mo - hard decision isn't it? Who decides - the heart or the head??

LOL at the doing a Jen !! LOL At least yours don't look like they were done quickly! Mine are obviously 2 minute wonders LOL

Loadsa love xxx

Anam_Kihaku said...

*hugs* i know that feeling too well.

can you drop me an email - i want to get in touch with bobs about her tattoos....

Natalie said...

I'm thinking of you x

Lynsey said...

Oh bless you, what a big decision. I'd like another too, but hubby doesn't. But I need to lose a lot of weight first. Your lO is gorgeous, BTW.

Bambi said...

well, whatever you decide will be the right one, i'm sure (^_^)

Rachael said...

Mmm that's a dilemma that only you know the answer too. We wanted another one after Kyle, secretly hoping for a girl, but when the time was right Pete was diagnosed with Kidney failure so that was the end of that. Good luck with making the decision, I'm sure you will make the right one.
PS Love the layout.
PPS & the picture

Marina said...

I had two boys and then we said no more children i was only 21 then my nan died and I fell preganent with my daughter it is not what we wanted but i wouldn't be without her even if she had been a boy, people say we can't afford to have another child but we couldn't afford to have any children they cost so much more when they are older but we wouldn't be without them what ever it costs. it is a very hard thing to decided but you will know deep down what you want.
I am now at the age of 40 waiting for grandchildren but not just yet hahaha. good luck in what you decide :~) xx

etteY said...

your dilemma is to have or not to have another child, mine is when to have a child LOL! Seek for guidance it'll be a lot of help in making the right decision!